Online shopping is the trend these days, or haven't you noticed? Well a lot of people especially those having full time 9 to 5 careers can no longer do the necessary going round the mall kinda shopping and opted to just shop with a few clicks on the mouse. Quite a few of my friends do it, it started with shoes which expanded to almost everything she could ever need. Now her latest quest is for a black macbook which apparently has already been faced out in the market with the arrival of the new uni macbooks. So the hunt started last Friday, yesterday morning after she phoned in informing me of what she wants.

Another friend who is still enjoying her two months maternity leave after giving birth to twins Leslie and Evan is also shopping online for infant and toddler clothes and products for the twins and for her 3 year old Madison. Both women has assured me that its completely safe and secure from hackers and all those other type of rascals. It has become a habit for the three of us to search for guides and items online, them being moms and me being a godmother it is according to them my obligation to assist them in raising their kids so when asked what I'll be buying as a gift for my 3 year old godson, I told Evan that I've done a bit of research on books for kids. The shopping site we frequent is full of books buying guide for toddlers that a single novice godmother would not be left dead in the waters. So for 3 year old Madison am getting him a couple of highly recommended baby books and for the 4 year old Evie (she has shown great inclination towards music), I've read and visited the site's music buying guide to help me look for an appropriate selection.

After delving on the site, I have found the it very useful and both friends have recommended it stating that its  quite simple and easy to use especially for novice shoppers like me. I have been on the hunt for Sweet Valley Paperbacks since I dunno last couple of weeks and I find this site very resourceful and found a lot of good deals for both used and brand new books. But I'll have to contact them first to confirm if they do ship to my location here, sometimes online stores only ship addresses in the US and Canada but who knows they might already be shipping internationally. If that's the case then it certainly is my lucky day.

A lot of us at work are thinking of getting an insurance plan for the future because in the long run am sure its gonna be for our benefit. Ran into lifeinsure.com, their tag line is the online source for life insurance. That seems pretty catching and it did catch my attention. True in selecting the type of insurance one would get requires research on the company offering it and an understanding of how such an insurance works. Sometimes people don’t really do their part of research and head on straight relying on what the insurance agent tells them, signs the contract and hand in their money without fully understanding what its all about. Usually an insurance can be paid annually, semi-anually or quarterly depends on what you agreed upon signing up. Personally I think a quarterly is a better mode of payment as it’s much easier to pay and cheaper on the pockets too. At lifeinsure.com  prospective clients can get an instant quote on the life insurance, all one needs to do is fill out a form and in a couple of minutes they’d see the quote and the terms and conditions too.  One can also call lifeinsure.com on their toll free number should you wish to speak with a live person.

Tripods, the top on my friend's wish list, she's a freelance photographer and though she has an existing tripod but she wants the 4 section velbon tripod which we saw online. Its not that costly but what were worried about is the shipping and handling. The product is in the US and were here in the Philippines.  There's also another model of velbon tripod that caught her eye and that would be the Velbon DF-60 tripod, its got so far the highest user rating and reviews. Reading the various reviews we found online, these velbon tripods seem to be selling like pancakes and is like the top choice of photographers both novices and pros alike.

She's itching to get one and hopefully we'll find one in any of the malls here in our area.

Was on my way to the rest room when on the lobby the service master was cleaning the carpet. He's using a vacuum cleaner that I know for sure but I the sound it was making was annoying. It looked huge to me and hard to manage but looking at him, he seem to be managing it with ease. Must be with practice and age ... hehehe

Curiosity got the best of me so checked online for the price range of these cleaners, found a site dedicated for electrolux vacuum cleaners and the price range were erratic. I mean some are at 100 dollars while others go as high as 400 plus dollars. Is it because of its design? Or its functionality? Does it mean that the cheap ones get damaged easily?

I really couldn't tell, we don't have one of these things at home so am curious. Asked one of the service masters we have if they're using electrolux vacuum cleaners and he said some of them are and some of them aren't. Coz these brand, electrolux vacuum cleaners are pretty much expensive. So they have some and the rest are manufactured by a different company.

Paris, where Lestat got spotted by Magnus and made into a vampire in Anne Rice's Vampire Lestat. An old city, the epitome of romanticism, of fashion and glamour, of elegance and the classical. The city were Christine Daae got entrapped in Eriks's music and passion. A relatively small city but is very much attracting visitors from all over the world. Situated on the River Seine, it has long been considered the paragon of style and the most glamorous city in all of Europe. Classical and modern in the strickest sense of the word, with the tiny alleyways and lanes to the pompous vista from Louvre to La Defense. There's also the reknowned landmark, Eiffel Tower built by Gustave Eiffel, where Tom Cruise proposed marriage to Katie Holmes. Whew!

Then there's the Notre Dame de Paris, known simply as Notre Dame and is the seat of the Archbishop of Paris, considered to be the finest example of French Gothic architecture saved from destruction by Viollet-le-Duc.

 

The Louvre, considered to be most visited art museum in the world as of 2006 is one of the many attractions and a must visit in Paris. It houses some of the world's most famous works of arts, such as Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, The Virgin and the Child by St. Anne to name a few.

 

The Sacre Coeur Basilica in the summit of Montmartre is another popular landmark in Paris France. A catholic basilica dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, also the home of a large and very fine organ built by Aristide Cavaillé-Coll for a private home in Biarritz.

 

Another attraction is the Arch de Triomphe, in the centre of the Place Charles de Gaulle. This serves to honor those soldiers who fought for France especially during the Napoleonic Wars, it also has the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Good planning to check for Paris hotels now.

 

Then a dinner while cruising the Seine River would be most romantic especially at night. Definitely another attraction in Paris both for couples and singles alike Might as well for Paris hotels now.

Given all the attraction aforementioned next thing to consider is the hotel to stay. Here's where Cheaper Than Hotels comes in, offering the best of both worlds, classy yet cheap Paris hotels operated for Flairview Travel Pty Ltd, Gullivers Travel Associates and various brands. They've been providing online reservation services since 1996 for more than 30,000 hotels in 130 countries worldwide. One can check out the various cheap yet elegant hotels all over Europe, and is defnitely a must visit site if you're planning a trip anywhere these area. Find nice hotels in France, or Paris hoteles and all over Europe for that matter.

Went to the clinic after shift (monday morning) with Mitchy so we can register for the vaccination chuvala; and also to have our weight checked (charot!)
we had it checked like two weeks ago and at that time; I was like 2.5 lbs. overweight (and I thought I was thin already)heheheh. If you fall on the 20-24 age bracket and your height is
5′2″ then the desired weight for you is in between 100 to 108 lbs.

So when Mitchy and I had our weight checked I was down to 108.5 lbs.
hahaha and I didnt even do anything. No exercise, no food
restriction (spent my whole saturday night “eating”), no diet pills
(am so over that!) and yet in two weeks time I lost 2 lbs. heheheh

That got my mom worried, she said I need to have myself checked.
Eating habits has not changed a bit so she’s concern on what’s wrong.
Hahaha well I know what’s wrong and there’s nothing I can do about it.
My jeans are getting bigger aw…sayop its me whose getting thinner so
niloag na xa pag maayo so are my shirts, cant live w/o a belt jud otherwise
makahubo ko faet!

 

Portofino

Out of nowhere I decided to go to the beach, Portofino this time in Lapu Lapu.
Its kinda far but its okay … was asked why I wanna go to the beach when I dont know how to swim in the first place. I’ve always wanted to see the sunset and sunrise by the beach … I’ve only done so once and that was like a long time ago and I desperately want it now.

When my mind’s troubled and my soul’s weary I seek solace in the beach. The sound of the waves has always been soothing for me. Whats bothering you Weng? Uhhmm…

Met Rezia on my way home from church (went to church first thing in the morning), and as I have not seen her quite some time. We went to ChowKing and talked, being a registered nurse I asked her bout mom’s condition. She was the one who set up the oxygen tank for me, w/o any ado she informed me that patients with CGH would never last that long. She said there are like 5 classes of CHF, from Class A to E; based on her description of each classes mom is like on Class B. Her oxygen in take has gone from 1 liter per minute to 3 liters per minute.
Maximum is 15 liters per minute, accdg. to her seldom do patients reach 10 liters per minute and that crashed the hell outta me.

I also informed her of the things my mom is complaining about, the numbness on her legs, her contant and excessive sweating among others. She said they were all symptoms of CHFand no one or nothing can alleviate those discomforts she’s feeling.

I told mom about em and she got worried, worried not of the knowledge that there’s nothing more to wait for than death but coz there’s no one she can leave me on to. So here we go again with the “go get a boyfriend thingy”; its not nice to be alone, trust me she keeps on telling me that. You dont know what its like to be alone, been there done that.

Being a single mom raising a kid with no supportive relatives is tough, it has toughen her up.
So I guess I partly understand her concern, she doesnt want me to be alone with no one else to talk to, no one to go home to. Well, I’ve been alone always have, though she’s around still but our roles have interchanged. Used to be, I lean on her now its the other way around and much as I would like to show to her am strong, I do have my own share of emotional breakdown.

When I told Rezia about mom’s constant bugging for me to find someone, she said she does not want to leave you alone with no one to share your sorrow. The ironic thing is I’ve always been alone, my pain … they’re all mine …

Someone used to ask me why am still NBSB now, is it because of circumstances beyond control? I said no its by choice. I find fault in all of them giving me reason to not like them which is for the greater good. I did them all a favor by turning them down.

I dont have love to give, all I have is pain and sorrow … I cannot give them what they expect me to and I cannot share with them my pain, they’ll never understand.

Are you okay? No, am not, havent been for the longest time.

Are you happy? No, far from it … I continue to live not coz I want to but coz I have to … for her.

And this state of mind brought me to Portofino, the air, the sound of the waves has soothed my troubled soul but it does not alleviate the sorrow I’ve felt, guess nothing can.

 

Spent the whole morning crying dunno what triggered it but I cried like there’s no tomorrow. I was talking to A the whole time texting her about this and that, didnt know it was obvious already but am slipping away, accdg. to her I was s’pose to be one of the good agents on the floor but now “wala lang” she said maybe coz am not happy with what am doing. I said right now am scared, confused and all my insecurities are surfacing like never before. Its hard to pretend your happy when your not and am tired. Am s’pose to have this childish, miss goody two shoes, happy go lucky kind of personality at work that in the ride from home to work is like my interim I get to prepare my mind and heart to become the girl I ought to be or what people think I would be and when the shift ends I get to go back home and face whatever it is that needs to be faced.

The person who used to be someone I can lean on at rough times is now the one leaning on me and for her I gotta be strong despite the odds, I know I owe it to her. I’ve asked myself countless of times what would happen when she’s gone, I never found an answer. Could not count the number of times I’ve cried, cried for what was and for what will never be. Contemplating the future alone didnt seem so bad before when it didnt seem possible but now that I know its certain it made me wish that I can just go with her. After all its just her and me; I know she’ll never want that she’d want me to go on living, spend my lot and wait till its my time to leave so we can be together. Used to think I had it all planned out, me going to the monastery when she’s gone to fulfill my dream of becoming a nun. I told her this but she disagreed, I told two friends and they both disagreed. I havent told A, guess coz I know she’ll never agree.

Looking back at it now, I was crying while texting A and at the same time talking to D, who doesnt have any idea whats going on.

I assured A this will pass that I’ll just sleep it through and when I wake up I’ll be fine but truth is I didnt sleep till 3 pm, gradually I got out of my emotional dilemma as I was talking nonsense to D, had to keep the laughter in my voice otherwise I’d expose myself yet again.

Can’t say am happy far from it; can’t say am at peace with myself either. I continue to live not coz I want to but because I have to, I dread for the moment of getting home and finding her gone. But as I’ve said to A, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there”.

For now, am starting to get a grip of things and maybe just maybe I wont mess up again.